I was recently having a conversation with some people about crafting. I found myself saying, “I feel confident that I could knit pretty much anything, but as a knitter I’m really only so-so.” I made this statement because I have a dear friend who is a dedicated, technically adept, life-long knitter, and the truth is I could never hold a candle to her. She wasn’t in the room at the time, though, and the people I was speaking with sort of laughed and said that someone who could knit pretty much anything was more than just passable.

The conversation made me think about the way that we constantly discount ourselves. It’s often considered rude to blow our own horns, so many of us have learned to use self-deprecation as a tool in daily conversation. As you can see, I do it myself. It’s a defense mechanism, really, because if we criticize ourselves, other people are less likely to do it for us. But I’m not sure that this kind of constant self-criticism is really helping anyone.

I have two children. My daughter Hannah is six and my son Jacob is three. I’m their mom, so of course I think they’re amazing. And what’s more, I want them to think they’re amazing, too. Right now, they pretty much do. They’re still young enough that they think the world revolves around them, for the most part. One day, though, that will change. I hate to imagine a day when they talk themselves down, or discount their own accomplishments, in front of other people. The thought really makes me quite sad. If I don’t want them to learn that habit, I shouldn’t do it myself.

Deciding not to talk myself down isn’t just about my kids, though. It’s about me, too. Let’s face it – being a parent is a whole lot of hard work. There are countless ways that daily life can beat me down. In spite of that reality, or maybe even because of that reality, I think that I deserve to be happy. In fact, I think we all deserve to be happy. Talking myself down, and discounting my accomplishments, does not make me happy.

Taking time out to recognize the things you can do – without giving yourself reasons why it doesn’t really count – feels unnatural at first. But if you get in the habit, you’ll probably see that you actually get through a lot in a day. Instead of making lists of the things you have to do but didn’t get around to finishing, try making a list of everything you accomplished. And I mean everything. Every little spill you wipe up, every near-meltdown you defuse, every snack you make. If you have kids, you do a lot in a day. Take some time recognize that, and see if it doesn’t change the way you look at yourself.

When you make the effort to acknowledge your accomplishments, you’re setting a good example for your kids. You’re also taking the first steps towards finding purpose and even joy. It feels good to be recognized for the things you do. There’s no reason why you can’t be the one to recognize yourself. Maybe, if you do, you’ll find out that under all those peanut butter fingerprints your kids left on you, there’s still one really cool person.

Do you have a tendency to talk down your own accomplishments? I’d love to hear your experiences, and also your ideas for overcoming it. Please share!

Amber is a hippie mama of two who lives with her husband in the Vancouver suburbs. You can follow her daily adventures on her blog at Strocel.com. She also runs an online class for busy moms who want to find their purpose at Crafting my Life. You can often find her hiding in the kitchen eating chocolate on the sly.